29 May 2010

Restlessness & Anxiety

I have had the crappest two nights' sleep. The day before the race and I am up, in the kitchen, eating instant porridge at 04:00, having just spent the last hour trying to get back to sleep. Mildly hungover from the few extra glasses of wine that I had last night just to feel sane at bed time. My plans for having afternoon naps the last two afternoons did not come to fruition: no naps. Somehow the afternoons just slipped away. I had better get in a serious nap this afternoon. I have been taking it very easy since wednesday. Thursday I spent most of the day coaching Storm with his Maths. Yesterday I had all to myself. Mostly. Spent the morning lying on my bed working. Went through periods where I would suddenly realise that I was almost panting and that my heart rate was thundering... and I had to actively calm myself down. Did two trips to uShaka yesterday afternoon, ferrying Emma. The second trip took about two hours because of the road closures for the World Cup "practice". Today I am going to get totally selfish: it's going to be about me and the race. Everyone else had better sort themselves out.

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